Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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