You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
