Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
