and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
