i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
