Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
