I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
