Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
