If i could tip my vagina, i would.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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