Moan for me like Helen Keller
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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