I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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