she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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