Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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