I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
