Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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