Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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