Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
