He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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