you guys were way drunker than both of me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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