He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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