You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
