better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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