i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
