White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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