Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
