Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
