And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
