Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
