belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
