this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
