I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
