she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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