I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
