Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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