The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
