In the future we'll all be gay
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
