i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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