I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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