Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
