Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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