Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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