doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
