Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
