Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
