You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
