Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
