just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
