When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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