she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
