I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
