i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
