Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
