Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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