note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
